Clara
by Rochee-chan
Summary: Yup yup i like Over the Hedge. RJ has instincts, a nasty new neighbor moves in I wish I could write comedy but I can't so I'll go with something else! NO slash, no pairings, slight OC she's in the comic but I made her older
1. Instincts? What are those?

A/N Don't own 'em but love em.

**SPLASH**

Cool water sprinkled down on an overly relaxed raccoon, who took no notice.

Hammy emerged from the water, spewing the remaining liquid out of his mouth. RJ vaguely heard Verne scolding him and instructing him **again** on proper water safety. He partly was too relaxed to care and partly too distracted to notice. Not one to dwell on distractions, he flipped over on his stomach, arching his neck up so his face wasn't submerged.

"Hey Verne, when you're done?"

The turtle stopped his water etiquette lecture and looked over at the raccoon. He had learned that although they were more unconciously driven than conscious, RJ's sudden bouts of serious behavior was not to be ignored any more than his tingly tail was. Much to Hammy's delight Verne ended his lesson abruptly and swam over to RJ leaving the squirrel to see how long he could hold his breath under water.

"What's up RJ?" Verne asked curiously.

The raccoon shrugged. Only RJ could be so lazy about his own topic of conversation.

"Dunno. Just curious how your tail was. My keen animal instincts are telling me something is up.

"Keen animal instincts?" Verne muttered. "Spidey sense or did you eat some bad cheese?"

"Please Verne, don't mock me" RJ said flatly. "You know I don't eat cheese."

"I saw you down an entire bottle of squeezy cheese yesterday!" Verne exlaimed.

"That's not cheese, besides, I don't eat anything that expires within a decade."

Verne smirked. "So now that we know it's not cheese, what is it?"

"I dunno. All I do know is that I learned something with my misadventures with Vincent. I have this voice in my head that seems to know better than I do."

"It's called your concious and instincts RJ. It tells you what's right and wrong and what to do."

"Whatever Verne...but I know it was right about you guys. And about that incident with the Schneider cat Charlie."

"That didn't end well." Verne said recalling the failed attempt to hack into their cable internet connection. "I assume you didn't listen to the voice that day?"

RJ shrugged. "I can't help it if I'm a rebel

Verne knew that RJ was no more a true rebel than Lucy from 'I love Lucy' was graceful. Lazy? Yes. Selfish? Sure fire. Rebelious? That would require far more time and energy than his friend could muster without the reward of something high in sugar.

"So...should we tell everyone, should we do some, what do you call it...recon?"

RJ nodded, flipping back over and staring up at the clouds. The serious moment had passed. Verne knew it would be no good continuing the conversation. He rolled his eyes as he heard RJ start to snore and laughed as he heard him choke as Hammy pulled him under water, mistaking his tail for floatie toy.

Later that evening when RJ was scouting the Jensen's weekly grocery run Verne instructed everyone to be careful and on the lookout. When he relayed his warning to the raccoon later that night RJ was livid.

"You WHAT? Now everyone is going to be all freaked out about it and think I'm all like, like..."

"Don't worry, I didn't tell them about your 'keen animal instincts."

"Whew..." RJ sighed. "I wouldn't want anyone thinking I'm all..you know.."

"Like..me?" Verne said, annoyed. RJ grinned.

"I couldn't be the fun crazy uncle RJ if i was telling everyone to be cautious now could I? You, my man, I am happy to let be the bad guy."

The turtle gave up. He had no problem being the downer, the cautious one, the old grumpy one. He understood he no longer had the answers for his family and that RJ did. He trusted the raccoon and gladly shared the leadership role with him and he now saw it as his contribution to the family to second quess RJ's crazy plans and to put an end to situations that would turn out bad before they began. He sometimes thought he was the only one who ever thought past the sugar rush or caffeine high to the consequences of their actions. RJ, as oblivious as he could be sometimes, saw the wheels turning in his fellow head of the household's noggin and left him to think.

"Thanks Verne." he said quietly, suddenly uncharacteristicly sober as he slipped into the log and curled up next to Stella and Hammy's warm bodies. He usually preferred his own little haven to the log, but for some reason he felt like being close to them. He hadn't gotten used to the feeling of sleeping surrounded by others, but he saw the appeal and occassionally came over to enjoy it, though it usually ended badly with himself sprawled out on top of the others and waking up to their annoyed glares. But tonight he didn't care. He nudged his way between the skunk and squirrel and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning RJ woke alone. Although by nature a nocturnal animal, he had never quite been able to strictly keep the schedule. Learning from the middle aged men who stayed up late playing video games for a bit of peace and quiet, RJ tended to spend the day doing nothing, the evening and late night entertaining himself with TV and eating, and falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning. This of course caused him to rise much later than the rest of his family who hadn't yet gotten away from their natural timetable, even if he did fall asleep at the same time. He yawned and slipped outside the log, rubbing his eyes as the adjusted to the light. He was greeted by the whole family standing unnaturally stiff on top of the hedge, staring at something. Curious, he climbed up and looked over them into the yard.

"What IS that?" asked Bucky

"I don't know, but Steve and Tiger turned out ok and they were new and different!" Hammy chimed, eager to make the best of the unknown.

"It's just a dog guys, why the big deal?" huffed Stella.

For a moment, RJ wasn't sure what they were looking at, but after staring into a familiar yard a few houses down he finally saw what had caught their attention.

"Oooh nooo" he groaned. "THAT is not a good thing"

The others jumped and turned to look at him.

"That, my dear family, is a pitbull. Let no one go near it and let no one speak of it further. That house is now off limits."

There was a momentary silence.

"Did we ever actually go to that house?" asked Hammy.

"Hammy..." RJ said sarcastically, "I said let no one speak of it further"

A/N This is actually a completed story but i wanted to put it up bit by bit!


	2. Lessons in suburbia

"Hey RJ" Heather called as she hopped down from the log. She had been waiting for him to come by for a long time. He paused and turned to her.

"Ya?"

"The kids, and I, and Stella,"

RJ raised an eyebrow. "Anyone else?"

Heathey laughed nervously "Ah ha ha...umm...no just us. We were hoping you'd take us over to see the new pitbull. From faaaar away" she added at his glare "and give us the run down on why they're so bad." In all honesty, the porcupine kids just thought anything RJ had to say rocked, Stella was fascinated that a dog could cause such riot, and Heather just enjoyed RJ's company. The topic was one of consensus to pin down the raccoon for a lesson in suburbia which they looked forward to.

"The big giant sharp pointy teeth isn't enough of a reason?"

"I've got pretty big sharp teeth too" she said, touching her pointy teeth with a finger. "And I'm not evil."

"So do I" he said mimicking her with his own canines. "They aren't all bad, it's just...Did I mention the big giant sharp pointy teeth?"

The aforementioned crowd had gathered around him, eager for Pitt Bull 101. He sighed. "All right, let's go." He had to grin as the kids whooped and hollared in triumph. Even Stella did a little winner's dance. He headed for the new dog's house with the others shuffling beind him. He'd been watching the dog to see if it really would be trouble and indeed it proved to be so. He seemed to be older and not entirely sane. That, coupled with bad owners who neglected and teased him, made him a very grumpy and vicious animal. RJ had seen it more than once attack nothing at random. They came up to a spot in the hedge that opened into the dog's yard. He settled down and peeked out, along with the others.

"Now," he started "That dog's name is Farley. Like all domesticated dogs he lives entirely at the mercy of human beings."

"And this is different from you how...?" asked Verne

RJ ignored the turtle who had come to see what the group was up to. "We all know to be careful around dogs although living with humans tends to bring their IQ down to their level, making them blindly loyal, happy-go-lucky and full of at least twice as much drool as a stray dog. But pitbulls can be an exception to that, as a whole. Occassionaly there are dogs that are unusually mean in any breed but it's a more common occurance in these guys. Not only did this guy seem a bit crazy when he got here but he is what is a very sad excuse for cared for by Jay and Rita who we all know are about the most useless humans in the neighborhood. That poor dog gets as much food out them as we do, which is about nothing. They don't even have real dog food to give that guy. If he weren't so mean I'd say we ought to let him loose and bring him here."

"He wouldn't be happy if we let him go?" asked Bucky curiously.

"Honestly kiddo, I don't think he'd notice and if he did he'd just try to eat you."

"But Imma porcupine. He'd be stupid to.."

"Kids, listen to me" Rj said suddenly serious. "that dog is crazy. he doesn't care if he gets quills in his muzzle or sprayed by Stella's stink. He will KILL you in an instant."

"Very nice RJ, you've successfully terrified my family." Verne said, annoyed.

"Our family Verne. And it's better to be safe than sorry. I have issues about big animals with giant teeth that they want to put INTO me. Ok, everyone seen enough?" They all nodded. Farley suddenly lifted his head and barked. They all jumped, but Farley was securely tied up. At least the humans had enough sense to do that RJ laughed a little as they all ran back to the log. "My job here is done. Hey Verne, did you notice the new family between our yard and the pitt bull's?"

Verne was prepared. "Their name is Florn. Hannah, Jacob and their daughter Clara. Nothing stands out yet, but they seem to have an awful lot of prepackaged pet food."

"Pets?"

"Not that I've seen."

"Hmm...lots of pet food but no pets..."

"Analysis Dr. RJ?" Verne asked sarcastially.

"They must either be adopting Farley or they are part of an ingenious plot to smuggle pet food to third world countries. Hard to say which."

"Brother..." muttered Verne.

"Let's go scope it out tonight!" RJ said enthusiastically. Raids were the only thing that got him riled up these days.

"Yeah yeah,I wanna go too!" piped a squeaky voice they instantly recognized as Hammy.

"Whoa!" RJ cried out in surprise. "Hammy, don't DO that!"

"OK RJ. Where are we going huh?" The raccoon pointed to the house and Hammy started running around in circles. "YEAH! I saw the girl that lives there. She seems really nice. Do you think she'll come over the hedge and say hi?"

Verne and RJ looked at each other, then back at Hammy. "Hammy, " said Verne "Why would a human come over here to say 'Hi'?"

"I dunno because she...can?" Hammy shrugged.


	3. Florn recon heist

As usual, the entire Hedge crew was in on the heist. It had become routine to raid the Schneider house, which was essentially in their 'backyard'. It was a young professional couple with no kids that lived there, leaving them free to raid their trash and kitchen at almost any time. They worked all day, went out at night and slept like logs when they finally got home. They weren't health nuts nor junkies so the food was generally varied and satisfied everyone's tastes. Jay and Rita on the other hand, rarely had any food at all in their house. Rita was home all day which made it difficult to break in, and Jay was home all night and had frequent bouts of insomnia making it equally as hard to break in at night. Given that and that the cupboards were usually bare anyway the Hedgies never ventured into their yard or house, especially since Farley came along. This new family, between the Schneiders and the bums seemed promising. From Verne and Hammy's reports the family was typical. Working parents with a busy teenage daughter meant fairly consistent schedules, a healthy mix of food and an unhealthy mix, and a generous amount of leftover pizza.

Late that night, RJ cued Hammy, who climbed nimbly onto the roof and slipped inside the open bathroom window. Moments later he appeared on the other side of the sliding glass door, hopping up and down happily like an idiot. RJ grinned. He liked Hammy a lot. He was enthusiastic, happy and the had a miraculous ability to get anywhere RJ needed him to get. Hammy leapt up and knocked the lock open, tugged at the bar securing the door until it was out, and with RJ's guidance, successfully pulled the door open using a clever combination of the bar and a chair.

"Awesome job Hammy!" RJ grinned at the squirrel as the group slipped quietly inside. Hammy grinned back and tore off to look for treats in the cabinets. Each animal had preset tasks as usual. Heather was on lookout duty, slipping silently upstairs and listening for movement. The kids hit the electronics looking for games, movies or music. The other adults hit the cabinets high and low. RJ had refrigerator detail and Hammy zoomed about the house looking for signs of a pet. After a few hours and a few armfuls of food, RJ made the sign to pull out.

As they rushed back to the hedge, Hammy in the lead and RJ in the rear, the raccoon stopped and looked up at the house in the predawn light. He saw the curtain of the teenager's room move, then her face poking through. She pressed her nose against the window and looked out into her back yard. Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw the raccoon sitting there looking up at her. What really surprised her though, was that he was holding a fudgecicle.

In his experience RJ noted that humans tended to see what they wanted to see. Rarely did they actually allow he reality of a raccoon drinking soda, or a squirrel coddling a cookie, actually enter into their brains. However he noticed that this girl was staring right at his snack. Without wasting another moment he turned and high tailed it back to the hedge.

"Whew, what did we get?"

"I want that, it's mine!"

"No way I don't think so. I got that for me"

"Mom can I eat this now?"

"I really don't see why we needed that.."

"Hey what channel was Sponge Bob on again?"

RJ returned to the log just in time for the post-heist party. As he finished his melting fudgecicle he slid next to Hammy. "So, notice something about that girl did you?" he asked.

Hammy looked up at him, holding a pez dispenser and unsuccessfully trying to open it. He nodded and went back to his new toy. RJ grabbed the head of the dispenser and tilted it up revealing the candy within. "Woooow RJ you're like maaaaagic!" Hammy chimed.

"What did you notice Hammy? I need you to pay attention for a minute here or I'll take that away."

The squirrel said, without taking his eyes off the candy. "It's like she sees us as we are. Most humans...don't. She saw me in the tree watching her and...and I think she waved at me."

"Aah, got it" RJ said and he turned and looked for Verne. When he found the turtle, he was hovering helplessly on his back, the victim of trying to open a plastic package and succeeding only in toppling himself over. RJ grabbed his hand and tugged. "There you go Verne." The turtle just sighed miserably. "There is something odd about that girl." he said. "She.."

"Oh!" Verne suddenly cried. "I forgot to tell you. Her dad is an animal doctor. That's why they have so much animal stuff around their house!" They had found more than food in fact. Piles of magazines featuring all kinds of animals littered the tables, various pet food and vitamins were stored in cabinets and they even came across a box of doggy toothbrushes, much to their amusement.

"Oh...that's, good I guess" RJ commented absently.

"I suppose" Verne said "But the only animals he treats are the pets. Anyway, you were saying?"

"Eh, it's nothing Verne. Hey can I have that bag of chips?" RJ turned and joined the crowd at the log.


	4. Good enough to die for

Several weeks later, they had already had several incidents involving Farley. His owners were frequently careless with his chain and hence, he frequently got loose. He'd bitten a dog across the street, growled at and scared a group of youths playing hockey in the street, and dug up the front yard of another neighbor. More importantly he'd chased Hammy up a tree and wouldn't leave for hours, and had very nearly caught Stella and Tiger off guard when they were taking an early morning stroll. The family was becoming more nervous about Farley by the day.

"Hey Lou, where's the kids?" RJ asked one particularly quiet morning.

"They went across the street to swipe lunches from the kids' backpacks at the bus stop there." Lou seemed at ease with the idea but Penny sounded more like RJ felt at the news.

"I just don't know if that's a good idea, those kids going alone. It's bad enough there are humans running around everywhere but Farley could get loose again don't cha know?"

"Ozzie is with them." he assured her. "He'll keep an eye on them."

Still unsettled at the thought and having nothing else to do RJ hopped up and went to check on them. He carefully crossed the Schneider's yard and stealthily climbed up the tree in their front yard.

"Let's see...the bus stop is just up the block so they should be right about...there they are!" He saw the small group, hiding in the bushes having just swiped something or other from unsuspecting students. He grinned to himself. They had learned well and had pulled the goods with no instruction or guidance from him.

"snort….snuff…..snort…huff"

RJ turned and looked for the odd noise he heard coming from down the opposite direction of the street."

"Oh no..." he groaned. Farley was sniffing around some lilac bushes in front of his house. RJ quickly surmised the situation to himself. "If he stays there he won't notice them unless they cross the street. But they will. It'll be hard for them to see Farley from where they are so they'll just go, but it won't be hard for Farley to see them…" As Farley wondered off down the street away from them, RJ silently hoped the kids or Ozzie would see the crazy dog and stay where they were. He had no such luck though, and Farley crossed the street toward them as they started to leave the brush.

RJ looked out at his family. He didn't know what to do; he was alone and his family was in danger whether they stayed in the bushes or not. Hammy would be better suited to a decoy run, but he wasn't there. He was too far away to warn them and even if he did he would only be calling attention to them. The pitt bull would plow them all down them and kill them all just for fun as soon as it noticed them reacting. Knowing he had already waited too long he took a deep breath and slid down the tree.

Heather opened a blue lunchbox with a picture of a cat on the outside, looking for the treasures within and hoping to find some chocolate pudding, her favorite. She stopped a moment, something giving her a nagging feeling. She looked up and saw Farley slowing making his way up the street. Her hair stood on end, from her head to her toes.

"Dad.." she whispered. "Farley's loose." The whole group snapped their heads down the street and saw Farley knawing on a plastic action figure that had been left in a driveway. The triplets moved closer to Ozzie.

Heather looked over at her father who had apparently already seen the dog. He wasn't looking at it, but off to the side of it, in the street. Heather followed his gaze.

RJ was standing frozen in the middle of the street, poised to get the dogs attention if necessary. Ozzie, understanding his plan, motioned for everyone to be quiet and slowly cross the street and back to the safety of the hedge. As they shuffled together quietly and quickly, Heather kept an eye on RJ who Farley had yet to see. When they reached the Schneider's front yard the young opossum stopped and turned back. Ozzie grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him but she resisted.

"Dad...RJ is still out there."

"He's buying us time so we can all get back." her father insisted dramatically. "Very...heroic...but he can take care of himself Heather. Let's go." However, the group had already stopped to see what their beloved leader was doing.

Farley had just seen the raccoon and they were now engaged in a staring contest. RJ tried to hold the dog's attention long enough to let the others get to safety but found himself too nervous to resist backing away. As soon as he made a move, the dog took off after him.

"Ai!" RJ cried, turned and running as fast as his legs could take him. "Go home! Your humans are here. They brought you a nice steak. I'll get you a day pass to a doggy spa if you just LEAVE ME ALONE!" he shrieked, thrusting himself onto the sidewalk as the dogs teeth clamped the empty air only inches behind him.

Having no where to go, he skidded to a stop under a white blazer in the Schneider's driveway and watched the large dog desperately try to get to him. He hoped that the stupid animal would get far enough under the car to allow him enough time to escape while the dog struggled back out, but to his dismay he realized it wouldn't be enough time for the others to get to the hedge. The crazed dog was already cramming his massive body under the car and inching toward him. RJ tried to signal the group to go so he could follow them but they seemed dumbstruck and weren't moving. He cursed them under his breath.

"Come ONE guys...get going!"

Just then they seemed to regain their senses and headed back toward their home. Breathing a sigh of relief he moved to the end of the car, getting ready to save his own neck as soon as the dog was fully under the car.

"Hey stupid" he yelled at the dog. "go back to your own house. Use that cat your humans pamper as a chew toy!"

As he expected, the dog paid no attention but continued to claw his way toward the rattled raccoon. RJ rolled his eyes. "Stupid dog." Just as he started to make a break for it he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Heather had come back out, probably to let him know he could leave, or to make sure he had. RJ paused, unsure of what to do. If Farley came out from under the car at that moment, he would see Heather and most likely overtake her before she got back to the family. If he got the dog's attention before he saw Heather he would easily overtake him.

RJ sighed and shrugged to himself, walking a few feet from the car to wait for Farley to struggle free. His family watched as he stood waiting for the dog, yelling for Heather and RJ to run.

"Heather, get back here!" Ozzie yelled.

"You some kinda fool girl? Get your butt back here" Stella shouted.

"RJ can't go until you're back Heather, Farley is too fast for you!" Verne reasoned, loudly.

RJ was looking nervously at the blazer. He was so tense he realized he wasn't even breathing as the glanced from the blazer to opossum.

Heather realized Verne was right and bolted for the hedge. Seeing her run, RJ did the same. If he could save himself too he would and he was certainly going to try.

Farley sprung from under the car and raced after them. RJ, being quite a bit quicker than Heather, caught up with the youth and dragged her frantically toward the bush. Farley gained so much ground on them in seconds that they could feel his hot breath on their backs. Heather screamed as RJ gave her one last push, launching her through the leaves and into her father knocking him down. Ozzie grabbed his daughter and pulled her back from away the hedge. The porcupine kids huddled against their parents and Stella and Tiger grabbed each other's hands. They realized RJ had not crossed over yet, and that he probably wouldn't. They all held their breath and waited, listening for any sounds of attack.


	5. Clever thinking

"Farley! You evil evil animal!"

The family jumped, jolted to reality by the voice of a human girl. They stood motionless as they listened to the girl draw the dog away. Farley growled and barked and snapped but as the dog's and the girl's voices drifted away Lou crept into the hedge and peeked out into the yard. He was only gone a moment before he fell back out of the bush, startled. They all knew from the look on his face that Farley had caught the raccoon as he pushed Heather to safety.

From far across the yard, Hammy and Verne had seen the whole thing.

Hammy reached RJ in a millisecond, and Verne was close behind.

"Everyone stay there." he called as his friends started to cautiously poke their heads out of the hedge. Stella herded everyone back.

"All right yall, let's get back. Verne'll take care of RJ, no worries." She couldn't totally hide the fear in voice and in hearing her voice crack, Heather burst out crying.

"It's my fault!" she sobbed. "What happened? Is he okay? It's all my fault..."

Ozzie held his daughter tightly and patiently, not knowing what to say.

Meanwhile, Hammy and Verne were at a loss. RJ had curled up tightly in ball, protecting his more vulnerable chest and stomach, but that hadn't stopped Farley. The dog had pinned him down with his monsterous claws and sunk his teeth into his sides several times over. Having no experience on any kind of attack, and not knowing whether it was actually that bad or not, the two simply stood speechless.

"Hey, hey...little help guys?"

The turtle and squirrel were shaken from their helplessness. "RJ!" cried Hammy. "AreyouokayRJ?Whatcanwedoto...help"

"Ow...ow...oooohhhh..ouch. Don't mind me, I'm good..." The raccoon pushed himself over to his back and collapsed. Verne cringed at the site of blood matting his fur and the holes where the dogs teeth and claws had been. Hammy looked as though he was going to throw up. "I'm just...Hey Hambone...don't you throw upon me...gonna lay here and..." he paused, panting. "...and watch the clouds a bit...dun mind me.."

Verne reached out and grabbed RJ's hand which was waving randomly up at the sky. "Are you okay..?" he asked, trying to get his friend to focus on him.

"Verne, really...do I look okay?" he said seriously.

"You sound spunky enough to me."

"PPpbbttt"

Hammy moved closer to RJ.

"Verne..hey.." The turtle looked at him with such pity that RJ laughed. "HA! Ha hah...Verne, that look doesn't become you. Come on guys stop it. Look, Verne keep Hammy out of the street okay?"

"Huh?"

"Keep an eye on him, he hasn't learned the fine art of street crossing yet."

"RJ, don't..."

The raccoon laughed again. The two looked at him with their mouths hanging open. RJ enjoyed seeing them so flustered. If he was gonna go, he was gonna do right.

"Oh, sorry ..." he choked, "I forgot." He cleared his throat and moaned loudly "OOOOooooo goood byyyyyye loyal family! Don't ever forgeeeet meeeee." Even in hazy awareness, he could still do his best to put on a show.

Hammy's eyes filled with tears, not liking the joke one bit. He laid down next to RJ and burried his face into his arm and cried.

RJ stopped acting and stared up at the clouds quietly. He hadn't wanted to make the poor squirrel feel worse, he just couldn't stand the terrified look on his friend's face. "Hey" he said softly, lifting his hand onto Hammy's head and looking up at Verne. "Not a bad way to go right? The dashing hero saves his friends from a viscious dog. OOOohh maybe I'll be on Animal Planet!" Verne started to nod solemnly but just rolled his eyes.

The three stayed there for a few moments, Hammy softly crying, Verne holding on to RJ's hand and RJ staring up at the clouds. Then RJ's ears twitched. "You guys have to go. That girl is coming back. She's no threat...and maybe she'll take me to her dad."

It dawned on Verne that RJ was right. The girl's father was a vet and might be able to help RJ get well. "Hammy, let's go." The squirrel raised his head and dried his eyes as he fearfully looked at the girl who was rapidly approaching. "Hammy, she won't hurt him. Remember the doctor stuff in her house? Doggy toothbrushes? She's probably going to help."

Hammy brightened a bit and turned to leave. RJ grabbed his hand before he did. "Hey Hampton."

"Yeah?"

"I'm expecting a whole box of twinkies to be ready for me. I'm counting on you. Healing take a lot of work you know." He had closed his eyes and was starting to breath heavier. He let go of Hammy's hand and put it on his left side in one particular place near his ribcage that seemed to be hurting him the most.

"Okay RJ, I'll find the best twinkies in the neighborhood for you." He smiled, in much better spirits, and raced to the hedge.

"Verne?" RJ asked, eyes still closed.

"What is it RJ?" Verne asked as he started to back away from him.

"I need you...to.."

"Yeah?" Verne backed up more, wary of the human now only a few yards away.

"For me..I need you to..You're the only one..."

"What?" asked Verne impatient but expecting a grim request.

"Record my shows on TIVO. I'll feed you to Farley myself if I miss any of my shows..."

"Ugh..." Verne grunted as he turned and fled. He looked back one last time and saw that RJ had passed out.

As Verne was surrounded by his family, he thought about what to tell them. He smiled a bit to himself when he realized RJ, as always, had been one step ahead of him. RJ had known Verne would tell them exactly what the situation was. And so he did.

"And his last request when we left was for a box of twinkies and to make sure we recorded his shows on TIVO."

There was silence.

Then the family all sighed in relief and began to chat amoungst themselves.

"Well he MUST be ok, thinking about his shows getting recorded!" piped Heather, who was now a great deal calmer.

"We'll help you look for the twinkies Hammy!" the triplets offered happily.

"Thanks!" Hammy returned.

As Verne watched them, he smiled. RJ knew what he was doing, even in dire straits. He'd duped Verne and Hammy into giving everyone hope. To himself he wondered, "was there really hope?" The turtle peeked backout to the yard and saw the girl carrying a bundle wrapped in a towell away. RJ was gone. Verne sighed and went back to the log. It had already been an exciting day and he needed a rest. He mentally took stock of his family as he drifted off. Someone was missing, but he could understand why. Hammy was no where to be seen.


	6. What was that? TIVO? Twinkies?

A/N Hooray for 1 review celebrates Thanks for the comments :) I'll post it all for sure now :)

"MOM!" Clara yelled "FARLEYWASCHEWINONARACCOONI'MTAKINGHIMTODADTELLTHEMTOGETRIDOFTHATHORRIDINSANEDOG!"

She grabbed a towel and ran back out to her neighbor's yard. She had successfully chased the crazed pitbull out of the yard with a broom, but not before he'd taken a few big bites of the poor raccoon. She'd seen it draw the dog away from another group animals, which was about the most curious thing she'd ever seen. She had followed it as Farley had chased the raccoon around the street and under a car and seen how it stopped and waited for the dog to get close to him before running again. She seen him shove the opossum into the bushes just as Farley reached out a claw and pinned him down. Clara carefully picked up the injured raccoon in the towel and jogged off. Her father was a veterinarian whose his office was just at the end of the block and she had always brought him animals she found that needed care. She looked down at the raccoon in her arms. He was badly wounded but she was sure her father could save him.

He opened one eye, jolted awake from all the jostling about. She smiled down at him. "My name's Clara. I'm taking you to my dad. He's a vet. He'll take care of you.

It's a good thing I'm on a break! What's your name?"

The raccoon looked up at her blankly and she wasn't sure if he didn't understand her or if he was in too much shock to answer her. She slowed to a walk and put her ear down to his mouth as though expecting to hear something. She smiled and started to jog again.

"RJ huh? You're a brave little guy. I saw what you did."

The raccoon grinned at her and closed his eyes.

Clara rushed into her father's office breathlessly. He mostly only tended to the yearly vaccinations of the local spoiled dogs and cats, selling premium kitty chow to the fancy pet owners of the neighborhood. Perhaps that was why he indulged his daughter's causes. More likely it was his passion for all animals that drove him, which she had inherited. He thought her attention to animals was odd however, and at times he felt that she acted a bit too attached to the animals she brought to him. He caught her talking to them more often than not and if he didn't think it was impossible, they seemed to understand her and she to understand them. His wife had called and warned him she was on her way, so he was ready when she burst into the operating room in the back of his practice. He gently removed the towel which she had been pressing gently against the raccoon to stop the blood flow and cringed. The poor thing had nearly been ripped to shreds and he could feel the hair on the back of his neck rise thinking about his irresponsible neighbors. They had brought an obviously unstable pitbull into their home, mistreated it and let it run loose. This was not the first victim of the animal but he resolved that it would be the last.

He carefully tranquilized RJ, much to his relief, and cleaned and bandaged the injured raccoon. His daughter stood in the doorway watching intently.

"Is he going to be okay dad?"

"I don't know honey. He's pretty torn up. We'll do what we can. "

"You always do dad, thanks."

As Clara wrung her fingers nervously, she heard a soft scuffling that she instantly recognized as claws on linoleum and turned around. A red streak disappeared behind the door to the back offices. She kept looking and saw a small head peer cautiously around the corner. Something about his face was disturbingly human and his expression was definitely that of concern. She turned and walked toward him. She bent down just outside the outer door.

"It's okay. I'm Clara. He's your friend right? RJ?"

The squirrel peeked around the corner again and slowly nodded, looking surprised. Clara's father shook his head in slight frustration at his daughter's behavior, but only vaguely paying any attention to his 14 year old daughter. She held out her hand and the frightened animal crept closer to her. She gently picked him up and carried him over to just behind her father, careful to keep him out of sight. When he finished, he wrapped RJ up in a fresh warm blanket and carried him to another room where he could recover. Clara made sure her father was engrossed in cleaning up before she cautiously let Hammy down on the counter. He immediately rushed over to RJ and pressed his head against his. Clara knew her father had tranquilized him, that he wouldn't respond, but she didn't know how to explain it to a squirrel. However, she didn't need to as when he gently pushed the RJ's head again, and this time was rewarded with a gentle nudge back. Clara was surprised at the movement, but touched at how happy and excited the little squirrel became at the small movement. She smiled tenderly as she saw the raccoon open his eyes and whisper "Hammy"

"RJ!"

"I'm fine Hammy" RJ said. "Go back home and I'll be back la..." his head tilted slightly and he promptly started snoring.

"I'll get those twinkies ready okay?" he mumbled as smiled and curled up next to him.

After a few minutes Clara heard her father finishing up. She gently touched Hammy and held out her hand for him to climb on. He obeyed reluctantly.

"We'll come back okay? Don't worry." she whispered. She then shouted loudly, causing Hammy to jump, "Dad,I'm goinghomeTakegoodcareofhim,hehasfriendsandfamilythatneedhim.HisnameisRJ.I'llseeyoulater!"

"MMmmph" she heard him mumble. She looked again at the raccoon, who was now still and quietly breathing.

On the short walk home Clara chatted with Hammy.

"Is RJ gonna be okay?" he asked, obviously concerned.

"I think so." she said honestly. "My dad is good at what he does. By the way, I'm Clara."

"I know. My name is Hammy."

"I heard" she laughed. "So RJ is a pretty good friend huh?"

Hammy nodded. "Yeah he shows us how to do stuff and…."

"And?" Clara prompted after a few seconds of silence.

Hammy then launched into a history of RJ, how they came to meet him, what they had thought of him and so on.

"We all nearly got taken away. But he saved us!" The enthusiasm and loyalty in his voice was unmistakable.

"He also caused it the trouble.." Clara muttered, almost disturbed at how easily they'd put their trust back in him so quickly. It seemed justified though, given what she had just seen him do that morning.

Hammy shrugged. "Yeah, but in the end he decided right." He piped.

"I guess humans tend to hold grudges longer huh?"

The squirrel shrugged, beaming happily. It apparently didn't take much to make him feel better either. Clara couldn't help but to be a bit jealous of his ability to just be happy and trusting.

"We need to talk to Verne." he said suddenly. "He needs to know. He takes care of us!"

"Verne?"

"He's a turtle. Or tortoise. You know, I really don't know."

Clara thought a moment. "I saw him. When I was coming back from my house you and a turtle were with RJ."

Hammy nodded. "That's him. RJ was telling him he'd feed Verne to Farley if he didn't use the TIVO to record his shows."

"He…..what?"

"And my job is to get him a box of twinkies before he comes back."

"Twin…kies…?"

The squirrel nodded again, looking in different directions in such a hyper manner it was making her exhausted.

"You guys aren't….normal are you?" she asked.

"What's normal? Is it bad for a raccoon to eat twinkies?" he asked, suddenly full of fear for his friend.

"Oh well..no worse than for humans I suppose….I mean I don't think a twinkie could ever be described as anything BUT bad for you."

"Oh.." he said in a disappointed voice.

"But that's not what…I mean….TIVO?"

Their conversation continued in this manner until they reached the hedge. As Clara searched for a place in the bush large enough for her to cross, Hammy prepared the others.


	7. Conversation

The group of animals and the human sat silently. They had had introductions, a few minutes of Clara insisting that RJ would be fine, and now were lost on what the topic of conversation should be.

"So...umm...you can understand us...?" Verne questioned.

Clara nodded. It was a short topic, for she didn't know why she could, just that she could. "All my life." she said.

There was another awkward silence.

"So can Clara come with us on raids now?" asked Hammy happily.

"Hammy!" exclaimed Clara and Verne simultaneously. They looked at each other and smiled.

"No Hammy, Clara can't raid with us or live with us or anything like that, okay?"

"Why?" he asked innocently.

"Hammy, if I did what you did, I'd be put in prison for the rest of my life" Clara said matter-of-factly.

"Oh." he said. "What's prison?"

"Just trust me on this Hammy." she said. "If I went in someone else's house in the middle of the night, I'd be in a LOT of trouble."

"Oh...okay" said Hammy, accepting her words immediately.

Clara talked for a bit of human society, what was acceptable and what wasn't, and giving them general information about humans.

"So human's aren't out 'foraging' when they leave during the day?"

"So everything on TV isn't actually real? So they are in a way, playing possum?"

"how can all that delicious food be bad when it tastes so good?"

Clara did her best at answering all their questions for a good hour or more. "I'm only 14 guys, i don't have all the answers you know!" she laughed. "I'm just a kid! I'm probably about the equivalent of Heather's age!"

At the mention of her name, Heather suddenly sniffed, remembering why they had actually met Clara in the first place.

"Oh, Heather.." Ozzie comforted her.

"Clara, it's all my fault" she sniffed. "RJ is hurt because of me!"

"No no, Heather. He cares about you, all of you."

"But I.."

"He's going to be okay" interrupted Clara "and he'd do it all over again I'm sure."

Heather sniffed. "I"m so scared.." she whimpered. Verne put his arm around her shoulder. "Clara...can you...check on him...see if he's..." he sucked in a deep breath "..all right?"

"Of course!" Clara said, standing and rushing off to her house to call her father. Moments later she returned with a status report of no change.

"It's good news" she said in response to their disappointed expressions. "He's not going to get better very fast, but he could certainly get bad very fast so no change means he's okay."

"Can you take me there tomorrow?" asked Verne. "He would never admit it but I'm sure he needs someone to be with him."

"I'll try. My dad doesn't believe me when I tell him stuff that animals tell me, but generally he just lets me do what I want. He might not be very happy about a turtle hanging around a raccoon patient though."

"I want to go too" Hammy insisted, followed by Heather and the porcupine kids.

"No" said Verne. "Hammy already saw this place and by the sound of it a whole group of us wouldn't be safe. It certainly wouldn't be practical. I'll go tomorrow to see how he's doing and we'll go from there ok?"

Once that decision was out of the way they started talking some more about their different cultures.

"So you guys don't really like Animal Planet, but you do like that medical channel?" Clara asked after an in depth conversation about the proper etiquette of privacy involving animals on television.

"Really..." said Stella. "I mean, come on do you like to watch your own people bein' worked on all kinda a things or would you rather watch another species gettin 'all that treatment and stuff?"

"Honestly, I'd rather not watch either" Clara stated. "I actually prefer the medical channel because I can understand the things the animals are saying on Animal Planet, and it isn't always good. I guess it makes sense."

They had a rundown of all of their favorite shows to watching, including Clara's, and all their favorite foods and pastimes.

"It's so strange" the human girl said suddenly. "You guys are totally separate from out culture, our values, our way of living, yet you're so similar in some ways. Verne, I have to say many of the shows you like are the same things my dad watches, and Heather and I almost enjoy all the same shows and music, and...well...I guess it just seems ..neat that we're really not all the different...if you consider you're a bunch of animals that watch TV."

They pondered that a moment before Clara continued. "So..what kinds of things does RJ like to watch? Maybe I can get him a welcome home DVD box set of something?"

"Ya know" Stella interjected, "we don't really know. I mean, he watches Eeeeeevvverything but he doesn't talk much about any one show in particular."

"His favorite food is twinkies!" Heather added.

"His favorite soda is cherry Dr. Pepper!" Hammy chimed in.

"He really likes to play racing games!" Spike contributed.

"Wow...what a, umm...well rounded guy.."

"He couldn't tell you a thing about anything that hasn't had a special dedicated to it" Verne said flatly. 'His world revolves around human beings. He wouldn't know how to catch a fish if..." he remember the time RJ had instinctively pulled a fish out of the pond it had swallowed another fish Verne had 'set free' so the poor creature could be recovered. "well...he isn't exactly a 'real' raccoon in the strictly natural sense..."

"We have to adapt to our surroundings right?" Clara supposed. "Perhaps he's just..acclimated well!"

"Yeah" Verne sighed.

They sat in silence another moment. RJ's fate simply proved too much for friendly conversation.

"Verne, I'm going to take you over tomorrow okay? I'm going to go with my dad in the morning to get a report, and I'll be back for you around mid-day once I know it's safe to bring you. I have to get back inside soon. My mom wanted me to help her paint the hallway today and she'll only excuse me being gone for so long you know."

The animals nodded and said good-bye and watched her leave. Once gone, they all looked to one another, doubt obvious in each of their expressions, and turned away without a word.

Hammy stuck close to Verne. The turtle could understand his fear and uncertainty and obliged him, allowing him to closely follow him throughout the rest of the day.

Clara went to meet her father before he came home.

--------------------

RJ opened his eyes groggily. He felt slightly panicked at the sterile, cold office that he saw but simply didn't have the energy to do anything about it. His heart raced and his mind reeled. It was at least ten minutes before he remembered what had happened and where he was. Calming slightly, he tried to move and found he simply couldn't. He wasn't sure if his body just wasn't responding or if he was still too drugged and half asleep to properly function.

"It's the tranquilizer" came a soft voice.

He turned his head toward the sound as best as he could. He saw Clara sitting near him.

"It'll wear off but it's really just intended to keep you immobile so you don't do something to hurt yourself while you heal."

"And you don't do it to yourselves, why?"

"We kind of do, it's just more subtle I guess."

"Am I going to die?"

The questions was abrupt and disturbing to the girl. She valued animals lives as highly as humans, and their blunt outlook and honesty sometimes caused her to wonder if she had a curse instead of a gift.

"No..I don't think so. My dad is good; good at caring for animals. So far you're pulling through just fine."

The raccoon closed his eyes. "Good...I would really be annoyed if I died mid-season. It really just wouldn't be fair...you know..." He slipped back into sleep, making no more comments on his philosophy of death.

Clara sighed, not sure what to make of him. He seemed selfish, self absorbed and to be a tv addict. Yet he'd proved that he was much more than that.

------------------

The next day Clara took Verne to see RJ. Her father told her that the raccoon had been nearly fatally wounded and it was a miracle he hadn't yet died and he also did not leave much hope to find him alive in the morning. But, when Clara rushed in with him when he opened his doors at 7:00 am, they found him sleeping heavily but alive.

It was mid afternoon when Clara returned with Verne, and to her surprise her father her called her back immediately when she arrived.

"I'm going to need your help Clara." he said. "Tom is out and I think there is still something stuck inside that raccoon that is interfering with his breathing."


	8. Mistreated Pet Rehabilitaion?

Clara hastily dropped Verne near RJ and rushed to her father. "What do you mean dad?"

"His breathing doesn't sound right. I think that dog left something to remember him by. If I'm right, I have have a mind to call the authorities on our neighbors...not just the dog..."

"...huh?" Clara asked, confused.

"I'll explain later hon. Can you tranquilize the raccoon please?"

"RJ."

"Yes, the raccoon. Hurry up now. I have an appointment in about half an hour."

-----------

Verne sat down next to RJ and listened to Clara and her father. It only took a moment to hear what he was talking about. There was an odd rattling sound whenever his friend took in a breath, hence the sleeping animal beside him didn't sound like one that was on the road to recovery. Verne sighed deeply, worried. He found he simply couldn't be pessimistic like he usually was about their raids or unfamiliar giant bushes and humans. He couldn't assume anything other than that his friend was going to be fine. Doubt was his companion however, and he looked down at his resting friend with discontent.

Clara came over to Verne and RJ. "I take it you heard that?" The turtle nodded. "I don't think you want to watch Verne, okay? I need give RJ a shot now."

"What's it do?" Verne asked, not wanting to simply sit and watch.

"It puts him to sleep."

"He's already asleep."

"It'll keep him asleep."

"Why?"

"So he doesn't feel any pain."

"So he doe...wait, what? What are you going to do?"

"My dad is going to..." she stopped for a moment. "He has to look for whatever it is that is causing his breathing to sound like that."

"Oh."

Clara filled a needle with the tranquilizer and quickly administered it. There was no noticeable difference in RJ to Verne, but Clara picked him up gently and carried him to her father. Verne watched from his spot tensely, partially regretting being there. The young girl stood studiously beside her father, assisting him as he needed her to. From behind Verne couldn't see much, nor were the two humans talking about what was happening so he had no choice but to sit and wait. After ten minutes or so the turtle heard the older man say something angrily under his breath. Verne crawled down as far down the counter as he could without falling off and stretched his neck out. He still couldn't see anything however, and he sat back down with a huff. From his spot he could at least see one fuzzy ear, twitching back and forth as the two humans worked silently. The twitch was small but it made Verne feel better. It was the first sign that he'd been able to see that RJ was at least alive. After a few more minutes he slowly wondered back down the little bed they had made for RJ. It was soft and warm and secure, made out of a small crate and several small blankets. Clara's father had put it up on a windowsill which allowed the animals Clara brought in a decent view of the outside and the warmth of the sun. Verne laughed to himself, knowing that, had RJ been conscious, this would be nothing less than torture without a television to found any where. In the moment he thought of what it might like to not have RJ leading them on reckless raids every other night. Suddenly full of melancholy, he sat back down and waited helplessly. He had been concerned before. Now he was downright distraught.

Clara turned and looked back into the other room while she waited for her father. She felt sorry for the poor turtle, who was sitting staring at the floor as pitifully as any human might. When her father muttered angrily again she turned back to the table. "What is it dad?"

"Those stupid people..they took such poor care of their dog that...well, look at this. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have pets..." he continued as he held something up for Clara to see. The girl cringed a little as her father held up a small object covered in blood. 

"Eww, dad what is that?"

"A claw Clara. Apparently that poor animal is in such bad health that one of his nails fell off when he attacked."

"No offense dad..but I'd hardly call him the victim here."

"I know Clara but he can hardly be entirely blamed for this."

"I think I could entirely blame him for this." muttered verne.

"What are you going to do?" Clara asked her father thoughtfully.

"Most likely he'll have to be put down." he said as he busily finished the last set of stitches.

His daughter watched him for a moment. "Isn't there a mistreated pet rehabilitation program over in Highland Estates?" she asked.

Verne's jaw dropped open. "A mistreated pet wha...?" he growled angrily. If there was an animal to be deserve instant death, in his opinion it was Farley without question.

Clara's father put the lone claw aside for later evidence should he need it. "I think so, but I really don't think Farley will qualify."

"Can you at least give them a call?" she asked.

"I will." he said as he carefully picked up the limp raccoon and carried him to the other room.

"OOoooh nooo..." Clara whispered, forgetting about the turtle.

"CLARA!" he yelled back at her. "WHAT IS A TURTLE DOING IN HERE?"

She jogged in to the room. "It's his best friend dad. His name is Verne."

Her father closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Clara, a turtle? Named Verne? Animals don't.."

"Please dad don't make a big deal just trust me okay!"

Seeing as how a turtle wasn't exactly dangerous to an unconscious raccoon he blew it off resolving to have a serious conversation with his daughter about her imagination soon. "Look Clara, I have an appointment in a few minutes. Can you go out and get the papers ready for me?"

Verne watched as Clara vacated the room to do the office work. Her father was staring at him.

"Umm...Hi?" he said, wondering if he'd understand. He didn't. He just stared blankly at him.

"I wonder what she thinks she's seeing or hearing." he said absently as he prepared a few things for his next appointments. 

"I wonder why you don't see and hear it." Verne replied, curious. "I don't get how she can hear us but you can't. But...at any rate...thanks for taking care of RJ..."

Her father turned back around and looked at him again. Their eyes for a brief moment and he almost seemed to see the gratitude on the turtle's face. "Anyway, I'll have a talk with her later." he smiled a little as he continued on with his work.

Verne crawled up onto the windowsill where RJ's little bed was sitting. He fell head first into the bed with a grunt and nearly rolled on top of RJ.

"Hey Verne. Careful where you're rolling there okay?"

Verne looked over at RJ awkwardly, seeing how he was standing slouched on his head. "RJ?"

"Hmmph. You know how to make a guy laugh Verne. But it hurts. Really bad. Stop it. Really man..."

His speech was slightly slurred and sluggish but it was definitely his friend that was talking to him. Verne smiled. "I didn't have you pegged as the hero type RJ."

"whadya mean? I coulda let the Verminator have ya.."

"Yeah yeah all right. I guess I did have you figured out after all." he sniffed.

"Verne.."

"Yeah?"

"Are you...crying?"

"I'm glad you're going to be okay RJ. I can't believe you're awake. Clara said.."

"Verne?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's the TV?"

"Huh?" RJ didn't respond and Verne could tell he'd fallen back asleep. He realized he was still upside down and was struggling to push himself over when Clara came back.

"I have to go home. Do you want to go and tell your family what's going on?"

"I'm going to stay here. Can you find the others and give them an update." She nodded. "He was awake for a minute, even. He's really good at acting like he's fine when he's not but, I think he really will be."

"That's what my dad thinks." she replied.

"Oh, yeah.." Verne said with malice in his voice. "Farley doesn't deserve some pampering, spoiling.."

"If I didn't do my best to save Farley too, I wouldn't be any better than him Verne. I'm human, top of the food chain remember? I have a responsibility to all animals, even horrible ones like Farley, to give them a chance." Clara was shocked that a turtle could look so angry and guilty at the same time. "That's quite an expression you picked to put on." she smiled. "Honestly, I don't think Farley is going to get the chance, but I'd feel pretty rotten if I didn't at least try."

"DOWN WITH ALL PITBULLS" came a slurred shout. RJ was waving his hand in the air until it fell limply on his head.

"I don't think you gave him enough tranquilizers." Verne interjected.

"Agreed." the girl responded. "I'll tell the others and I'll try to come back later. If I don't just hang out here. I'll leave the window open just enough for you to get out."

Verne thanked her as she quickly left the office. Watching her reminded him of Hammy, with her boundless energy and quick movements. It made him dizzy. He settled down next to RJ and watched the life that was happening just outside the window. He watched the humans bustling about for hours, fascinated by their odd behaviors. 


	9. Hot Tubs are a wonderful thing

Clara returned to her father's veterinary practice with her father that evening with a surprise.

"I'm HERE!" shouted Hammy excitedly. "Where's Verne huh? Where's RJ at? Over there?"

The girl laughed at him and pointed to the back room. "In there fuzzball."

"Fuzzball?" the squirrel queried. "What's that?"

"It's a cute nickname for fuzzy little balls of energy."

He pondered that a moment. "OH! Like me right?" he grinned.

"Right. They're over there on the windowsill."

Hammy appeared next to Verne in mere seconds. "HI Verne!" he shouted. "Clara said RJ is okay. Is he okay huh?"

"Hi Hammy. Yes he seems to be doing much better. Nothing has been able to stop him from being himself so far."

Hammy peeked over the edge of the crate at his resting friend. Other than a few white bandages cover random place all over his body, he seemed perfectly normal.

"He looks fine to me. Can we take him home?"

"No, no Hammy. He needs to stay here and rest a few days where we can take care of him and give him food and stuff." Clara answered from the other room.

"Food? That's his favorite thing to eat! Can I stay?"

Clara smiled. She couldn't wait to get to know all of these animals better. She poked her head into the room. "Do you want to stay here? I think my dad won't question it this time" Hammy nodded happily. Just then RJ moved and grunted.

"Hey Hamstring. I'd know your smell anywhere. Bring me any twinkies?"

"HI RJ!" Hammy cried. "Clara said I couldn't bring you a snack. She said it's bad for you."

"So.." RJ asked groggily as Clara came into the room, "you are...who now? Clara? I don't really remember... Why are you telling Hammy I can't have a snack?"

"Yes I'm Clara" she said, coming over to him. She gently took his other paw in a hand-paw shake. His grip was surprisingly strong for a drugged raccoon, and he was obviously familiar with the human custom. "And you need decent healthy food if you're going to get better any time soon."

"Thanks. You saved my life, I think. I still hurt, A lot."

"I was just repaying the favor for your friends."

Hammy beamed proudly.

The raccoon suddenly opened his eyes and looked up at Verne. "Verne, is everyone okay? What happened to Farley?"

"I chased Farley off, and he won't be enjoying the tasty treats of neighborhood animals for much longer. My dad will have him taken away. He's dangerous to people too" Clara interrupted.

"And everyone is fine RJ" Verne finally said. "RJ," The sensitive turtle could no longer hold back his relief and anger "don't EVER do that again RJ or I'll kill you myself!" Then he said in a much quieter voice, "And thank you RJ, you saved everyone."

The drugged raccoon grinned. "You would have done the same Verne. But you have that nice shell..I need to get myself one of those...I was gonna send Hammy but I couldn't find him. He's so fast you know. You should SEE him on caffeine, he's hilarious. But man that boy crashes harder than..." he trailed off and started snoring again. His two companions smiled.

"How come you came down, after your father locked everything up."

"I didn't have anything else to do today and there was this squirrel outside our glass door staring at me with the saddest expression I've ever seen" she laughed. "I've really enjoyed meeting all of you. You know I feel like, like I found..."

Verne grinned at her. "Welcome to the family Clara. We're happy to have you, even if you are a human"

"Thanks, I think" she said. "I've never been an honorary part of another family before!"

"It's not honorary, you're just welcome to be a part of it. You save RJ's life and for that we really can't thank you enough."Verne sighed. He hadn't realized how great an impact RJ had had on them until he'd seen him nearly killed. Sure he admitted that he liked him, was even his best friend, but he supposed you never knew how much something meant until it was gone, or almost gone. He looked over at RJ. He never in a million years would have dreamed that he would be sitting there, in a vet's office talking to a human, with the shifty bandit that had first entered their lives only to save his own neck. 

"Clara."

The girl turned to her father who had joined her and listened to her one sided conversation. "We really need to talk."

"Before you say anything, thanks a lot for saving him. This guy is..special."

"According to you, they all are"

"Aren't they to you?"

Her father thought for a moment, then came and wrapped his arms around his daughter, watching the raccoon sleep. "Yeah, they are honey. They are. What makes this one so special though?"

"Dad...can I tell you something?" Clara had partially returned that evening because she had decided that it was time she explained to her father how she knew.

"Of course honey."

"I know because, I can hear them. I mean, I can talk to them. They talk to me." Her father stiffened. "I mean it. I"m not making it up and I can prove it to you. But only you. This raccoon, RJ, saved the lives of his family yesterday. These guys.." she motioned to Hammy and Verne who were both now both sitting awkwardly in the crate. "Are his friends. There is a family of porcupines, a skunk and cat and a father and daughter opossum duo. This is Hammy and Verne." 

Her father stared at the squirrel and turtle unbelievingly.

"Verne, can you pick up RJ's paw. Hammy, can you jump up there and grab that little bottle and bring it back down here? Do my dad can see that you understand me?"

The two animals complied, shocking the girl's dad. "And what is your skunk friend's name?"

"Stella!" piped Hammy eagerly.

Clara picked up an animal book from her dad's bookshelf. "What animal is Stella?" she asked. Verne pointed to the skunk. Her father had no choice but to believe.

"So, RJ..."

"..saw Farley and drew him off while his family got to safety. He would have made it but...well, they hadn't all gotten past the hedge by the time he got there so he had to well..."

Her father looked at them in disbelief. "I can't believe, I don't understand. I've worked with animals my whole life and you're telling me that they...think...they..feel..?"

"Well yes and no..honestly most animals are just what you think they are and they're not much brighter than they appear. But some..."

Verne looked up at her father. When that he looked closely he could see the warmth in the turtle's face, the simple innocence in Hammy's expression.

"Tell him to get a TV in here" RJ's voice croaked. "If I have to spend time here I need something to entertain me."

Clara laughed. "RJ is awake again. He says he wants a TV if he has to stay here."

Her father looked at him blankly. "He just said that? Since when do raccoons watch.."

"I told you dad, he's very different. I don't think he's eaten a bit of natural food in his life and he knows "Survivor" better than any human I know."

"No accounting for taste I see..." he muttered.

"I watch it all thank you very much!" RJ growled. "It's not taste, it's a way of life." Again Clara translated and her father just shook his head.

"Let's go home Clara. I need to think about this" He took his daughter's hand and turned off the lights. "Tell them...there's food in the bins...and to stay away from refrigerator...there's no food there..."

"Dad"

"Yeah?"

"they can understand you just fine. It's us that have trouble hearing them."

"Of course" he mumbled.

After they left, Hammy curled up next to RJ. Verne yawned. "We really thought we'd lost you RJ."

"Am I lost?" RJ asked, still too drugged to even be conscious.

"You're not"

"Good. Thanks guys for not letting me, you know, get lost."

"Go back to sleep RJ."

"You keep waking me up."

"Then let's all go to sleep."

Hammy was already breathing heavily, and shortly after Verne and RJ joined him in deep sleep.

-----------------------

A little over a week later the hedge family was gathered one evening, planning a raid. Since RJ had been gone they had not gathered any food at all and they were all excited to have a full fledged feast for their friend should he return soon. At last report he might be able to come home within a day or two, with no guarantees.

Verne recounted his visits fully, ensuring him that their reckless leader was as witty and sly as ever. In his time at the vet's office, RJ had already masterminded three scheme's involving their new human ally. Of course, it mostly consisted of Clara going to the store and buying them things but it was a brilliant plan none the less, Verne explained in RJ's words.

Their plan for that night was so far involved sneaking in to a new house across the street. It was unfamiliar territory but they had scouted the groceries and their pickings would be good. As they tossed idea's back and forth on how to get in the house, Clara slipped noisily through the hedge.

"I really need a better path through there." she said, picked the leaves off of her shirt and pants. "What's up everyone?"

"We're going on a raid!" Hammy jumped up and down with anticipation.

"Where to?"

"The green house across the street."

Clara laughed. "Good luck. They have two cats."

"Leave them to me!" Tiger said proudly. "They will be NO problem!"

"I can bring you some snacks you know, if you're just hungry."

"We want to surprise RJ!" Heather smiled up at Clara. The two seemed to be fairly close in age and were getting along very well.

Ozzie added "He'll be amazed when he comes back to find all his favorite stuff waiting for him, courtesy of a carefully executed plan by his devoted family."

"I can still get you snacks. Is there any other way to welcome him back?"

"I know!" said Penny. "The Gomez family just got a hot tub! Maybe we can figure out how to use it. He'd be really proud of us there donchya know?"

"Hot tub?" said Verne doubtfully. "I don't think that's the kind of thing we can.."

"Sure we can. It's easy!"

The group turned and looked behind them

RJ was grinning widely, leaning up against the tree they were all huddled near.

Hammy was the first to react. He seemed to explode with joy and had RJ in a loving hug in a millisecond. "OOoo you're back!" he squealed.

"Careful there Hammy." RJ laughed. "I'm not beyond the point of... OWWW! HAMMY! I said be CAREFUL, that HURTS!"

The squirrel let go and backed up, giving everyone else a turn as they cheered and yelled and cried for joy.

Bucky, Quillo and Spike hugged him as best as they could, hopping up and down. "We're so glad you're home Uncle RJ! We were going to go on a raid for you tonight. But this is so much better!"

Their parents warmly took his hand and thanked him for risking his life for their kids. "You're a real special guy there RJ" said Lou. "Jeepers it's good to see you!" Penny said as she smiled broadly.

"Glad you're back raccoon." Stella said as she hugged him around the neck fiercely.

Tiger bowed to him dramatically. "You are truly a hero. I consider it an honor to be a part of your humble family.

Ozzie took RJ's hand. The raccoon raised an 'eyebrow'. "Thank you, RJ. You saved Heather's life specifically in exchange for yours. I will forever be in your debt. You are..." For once, Ozzie was actually speechless. He hugged RJ gently and moved aside.

Heather came up to him next, head down, blushing fiercely. "I...you...me..." tears began to spill down her face. "It was all my fault!" she cried as she buried her face into his chest.

He put his arms around her. "Heather" he said softly after she stopped crying a bit, pushing her back and looking into he reddened eyes. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat. For you, for anyone. You guys are my family now. Even if things didn't turn out...I wouldn't regret it for a second."

The young opossum smiled, finally feeling the relief that had eluded her for nearly two weeks. She hugged him as tightly as she dared. "Thank you RJ." she sniffed happily. "I'm so glad you're back, that you're okay." 

Verne came up beside RJ and clapped his hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're back too RJ. Now how about that hot tub? I'm sure you could use a nice hot bath. In fact, I know you could. You reek."

The family collectively sniffed him and immediately slip back away from him. Heather even let go and stepped back. "Dang RJ, you really do stink."

RJ frowned. "Now that's a fine welcome home. Well in that case, Hammy, where are my twinkies? I have a lot of TV to catch up on before we hit the hot tub and...oh, thanks Hammy!" the squirrel had raced off and returned with five twinkies before RJ had even finished his sentence. He carefully walked over to his chair and TV and sat down. He immediately slouched down in relief. "It's goooood to be home." he said, unwrapping a twinkie and turning on the TV as the whole family settled down.

"Didn't like being forced to something good for you huh?" Clara laughed. "I have to say it's going to take awhile for me to get used to seeing a bunch of animals watching TV in the middle of a forest."

"Just a couple of extension cords Clara. You'd be amazed at what we can get."

"Not so much any more." Clara had been chatting with RJ throughout the week whenever he happened to be awake. She had bonded with the raccoon as she had with Heather and was already learning about his curious behavior. "I'm glad you're okay too RJ."

"Me too. Kudos to you for saving my life by the way. Now that you're an official part of the family, maybe you can help us out..."

"I'm not going on raids with you guys. I'll get thrown in jail."

"I know but just think about the things we could do! Tell you what, I'll email you about it.

Clara laughed out loud. "Email? You've got to be kidding me."

"Oh no," Verne confirmed "He's as addicted to the Internet as he is the TV."

"What, can you actually READ or WRITE?"

RJ tilted his head and looked at her. "Since when do you really need to read to surf? And I can write, a little."

"Well..." she said, realizing one really didn't need to be able to read to click on things.

"I have a screen reader" he winked at her, grinning "for those big words I don't know."

The whole family was gathered in their usual TV spots, making room for Clara to sit next to RJ. She watched TV with them until it was dark and her father called for her to come in for bed.

As she left she turned and looked back at her new friends, enjoying a family night of television as any human family would. RJ looked over at her and raised a paw and said "See ya!" The other animals did the same but were too absorbed in the TV to notice the raccoon's confused expression as she left. RJ looked at the place in the hedge where she had disappeared for some time, thinking of what had happened over the past couple of weeks. Verne, noticing, as he wasn't particularly interested in the TV program, cleared his throat. RJ looked over at him curiously.

"Nice girl." Verne said.

"Yeah."

"I hope she doesn't get in trouble."

"Over what?"

"Well, first off when does anyone associated with you NOT get into trouble and second, well, she can understand us. If someone knew about that they might try to take advantage of her."

"I guess we'll have to keep an eye out then eh?"

"I suppose so. RJ?"

"Yeah Verne?"

"Are you glad you met her?"

He hesitated. "Yeah. I.."

"SSSSSSShhhhhhhhhh! I can't hear!" Hammy hissed.

RJ smiled. "I'm just glad to be home. And, I can't wait to get in that hot tub"

------------------------

"Good night Clara" the girl's father said as he began to close her bedroom door.

"Night dad!"

He paused.

"What is it?"

"Clara, promise me you'll be careful okay? Don't tell anyone else...you know."

"Only you dad. Did you hear anything about Farley?"

"They said they would take him for a trial week, since he hasn't actually bit a person yet. He might get a second chance after all. Good night."

"I can't say I'm glad. Good night"  
------------------------

A few hours later Clara woke. She got up and wondered down the hall to the bathroom. From the open window she heard voices talking in low tones. She narrowed her eyes and looked out but saw nothing. She put her ear against the window and instantly recognized Hammy's sudden shrill cry ("It's HOT!"). She grinned. They indeed had succeeded in their hot tub venture. She laughed out loud at the idea of a bunch of forest animals hanging out in her neighbors hot tub, getting relaxed and eating twinkies. 

------------------------

"Come on Hammy, it's not that bad!" said Verne who was thoroughly enjoying the steaming water.

Hammy sat stiffly on the edge. RJ reached out and pressed the jet button and bubbles instantly came to life, popping and rolling and...

--------SPLASH----------

..becoming generally impossible to resist for the hyper, happy squirrel.

A/N It is finito! Although I have had all sorts of stories for further adventures with Clara in my head, this was the first and her introduction. I hope you enjoyed :) If I get lots of reviews I'll do the others. Otherwise they will just stay in my head :D 


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